


Missing you is never enough.

by greengoddess3



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Friends With Benefits, Getting Together, Intimacy, Light Angst, M/M, Smut, Wishful Thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 04:27:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16825123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greengoddess3/pseuds/greengoddess3
Summary: A chance encounter leads to a plethora of intimate moments and before long Alec is more than enthralled with his new companion. If only his and Magnus' lives gave them hope for something more. Maybe this time their yearning will be enough.aka 'I know you feel what I feel.'





	Missing you is never enough.

**Author's Note:**

> this is me trying to write less explicit smut lol.

It felt like the finest of velvet, the trail that Magnus’ warm tongue would leave against his skin, lapping at every crevice and mapping its way across every vein.

The time they spent apart a welcome torture, making the exploration of each other’s bodies all the more desperate and enticing.

Magnus eagerly and unshamelessly welcomed Alec’s neediness. The way he would grip onto the muscles of his broad shoulders as Magnus bit into the soft flesh of his neck. Always drawing him closer, pulling him nearer, smothering Alec in his intoxicating aroma.

They never quite knew how much time they had, but here between the soft sheets they cherished the time that they did.

It wasn’t just about the sex, the climax could be hand just as easily with their own fists. The physical pleasure was but a small gift in the midst of this epoch of intimacy. Alec was needy for all facets of Magnus, in his mouth, between his legs, across his lips, chest to chest with hearts beating wilding in unison.

To the world Alec was untouchable but little did they know that one simple touch from Magnus was enough to have him crumbling at his feet.

The soft breaths and quiet moans filled the space between them as Magnus ground his clothed crotch against Alec’s bare thighs. The sounds causing Alec to choke back a needy hum, desperation clinging to his pores as he silently willed Magnus to devour him.

‘I missed you.’ The words spilling from Magnus’ lips as he buried his face into Alec’s neck, fingers tracing the dips between his defined abs. His warm breath brushed against the shell of Alec’s ear, words curling their way straight to the ventricles of Alec’s heart. 

Alec bunched his hand beneath the lavender scented pillow into a tight fist, praying that the prickling warmth under his skin would dispel. He screwed his eyes shut, swallowing nervously to disarm the words he wished he could utter. Something akin to _what are we?_ and _i want more_ , a risk he dares not take if only to preserve these rare moments of warmth he has with this beautiful man.

‘Alec?’ Magnus muttered against the tension in Alec’s shoulders, a myriad of concerns and worries seeping from his voice.

‘Yeah?’ Clearing his throat in hopes that Magnus doesn’t notice the uneasiness in his voice, Alec stills in anticipation.

‘Do you ever think...’

The pit in Alec’s stomach begins to expand as his heart takes flight, pounding harder at every beat of silence between Magnus’ every breath.

‘Yes Magnus?’

The silence between them is pregnant with a million questions of possibilities and probabilities. Alec has never quite been the one to take giant leaps of faith, comfortable in his solitude and serenity. Magnus has become the most complicated part of his life, a life full of mystery and musings, of avoiding the press but seemingly allowing them full access to his life.

If only they knew, the real battle he faces, the battles of allowing himself to take instead of always sacrificing himself for others. Of knowing he has it all but secretly wishing for the one thing he wants, the one person he _needs_.

Alec relaxes instantly as he feels the light wiggle of toes to the base of foot. A giggle breaking free from within his chest as Magnus tightened his hold.

‘Mag-nus, stop!!’ 

The laughter rings through the air as Alec lays privy to the assault on him, Magnus taking full advance of Alec’s innate sensitivities. 

Before Alec has a chance to catch his breath he is being pushed on to his back, perfectly kohl rimmed eyes boring into his own with devastating intensity. Alec’s chest heaves, taking in large gulps of air as for the millionth time he loses his breath.

Magnus hovers over Alec’s torso, careful to keep their bodies millimetres apart, aware of the effects that the proximity has on Alec’s willpower. The lust in Magnus’ eyes sends a tyranny of shivers along Alec’s spine, his fingers sliding across the sheets and clasping onto Magnus’s wrists. 

Dipping his head, Magnus places his lips tenderly over Alec’s, whispering ‘Do you ever think… that I will _ever_ get enough of you?’

The unspoken invitation in the unexpected adoration has Alec abandoning all doubts. It’s not the exact words that Alec wants to hear but it’s enough to know that with him is where Magnus wants to be. Enough to know that he fulfils some sort of need for Magnus, that he is the only person in this moment that can have Magnus for his own.

Alec inhaled steadily through his nose, body overtaken with a need to be filled to the brim by Magnus. A desire to feel his warmth encapsulated his every pore, overtaking every part of him until he can do nothing but surrender to Magnus’ control.

If only Magnus knew, that somewhere deep inside Alec already had.

Lowering himself painstakingly slow, Magnus aligned their bodies so that there is not even a centimetre of space between them. It takes everything in Alec not to buck his hips against Magnus’ thigh, surrendering his control of his pleasure, wanting Magnus to be the only one to tip him over the edge.

He had spent enough lonely nights with images of Magnus swirling throughout his head, his hand caressing his length, drawing out long moans and whimpers of Magnus’ name. It is but a small taste of the sweetness of Magnus Bane, the faceless man who is known by many but seen by none.

Now, all he wanted to do was feel, not think about _maybe_ and _could be,_ about whether he was more than just a warm body, a break from the chaotic life that Magnus so effortlessly maintained.

They had met at a charity event thrown by one of Magnus’ many businesses, where lingering glances and one too many whiskeys had found them trading heated kisses on a secluded balcony. Their short time in each other’s embrace had ended abruptly, Magnus being dragged away to entertain demanding investors and other interested parties. Alec remembers the disappointment in his otherwise untouchable demeanour, the way Magnus squeezed his fingers as he whispered ‘Until next time handsome’ against his lips.

Next time didn’t come for more than a year. In the haste of their intimate moment and intoxication they lost the chance to establish a steady means of communication. The night had always haunted Alec, he wondered if a chance to be in the mysteriousness man’s presence for more than a moment would be as enticing and heart wrenchingly alluring.

Although they both lived lives of fame, Magnus’ notoriety made him an enigma to the world, a man unstoppable in his pursuits, a face only familiar to those he allowed near. 

It was such that drove Alec the most wild, the fact that he had been privy to the man everyone wanted to know. Yet he had so quickly allowed him to slip through his fingers, their worlds colliding and yet being ripped apart so easily.

There was something about Magnus that Alec couldn’t quite decipher. Their first meeting had shown him how tantalising and intoxicating Magnus could be. The way he danced among his many guests, weaving his way between them with warm smiles and suggestive words. Making them feel privileged to be in his presence, an honour to be included in his success.

They had only spoken for a short while before the haze of the alcohol had dulled both their senses enough for them to surrender to their desires. Enough for the feel of Magnus’ teeth tugging at his lower lip as he moaned deliciously, a caress to be immortalised in every crevice of Alec’s brain. 

From that day forth he looked for Magnus at every one of his concerts, at every album release party, at every after party. Secretly hoping that the man had felt even a fragment of the desire that he felt for him.

A chance encounter whilst touring in Europe had literally thrown Magnus into his clutches, when the man stumbled into the same hotel elevator as Alec. It only took a moment of widened eyes and gasps before the two found themselves planning to meet again, this time with names and numbers saved alongside heart eyed emojis.

So began their frequently infrequent affair, when schedules aligned so did their bodies, stealing moments in their busy lives to have _this._

This thing between them that they both avoided solidifying, if not for fear of not having but for fear of never having again.

Alec could no longer deny that they were both consumed by their very public and time consuming careers. Too consumed to even consider the reality of the affections, the yearning of their bodies, the obsessions of their hearts.

To the world he was Alec Lightwood, world renowned singer/dancer/actor, all round playboy and voted one of the top twenty sexiest men alive. 

To Alec, he was a lonely man, desperate to be cared for, who craved a kind of intimacy only found within like minds and deep emotional bonds. 

To the world he had everyone but to Alec he only wanted one.

The fullness of a throbbing length against Alec’s thigh dragged him from the clutches of his musings, Magnus smirking as he teased, ‘Not boring you am I?’

Alec will never understand how one man could radiate such effortless sexiness, how one man can possess such an ability to charm and intoxicate. As if with one breath Alec would risk it all to fulfil every of Magnus’ unconscious demands. As if with one breath he is weak, he concedes, he is _consumed_.

The chuckle that escapes from between Magnus’ soft lips as Alec shakes his head excitedly, warms Alec deep within is heart. His member twitching as Magnus’ lips trail down his neck, worshipping his chest before licking along the planes of his stomach.

‘Alexander. You taste… _delicious_.’ 

The words make Alec tremble at his core as the breath is harshly taken from him. Magnus shifts slightly as he effortlessly takes him in his hand, slowly stroking him to full length, whispering tender adorations against his skin. 

He so wishes he had the command and willpower to stop himself from moaning so feverishly but he is honestly weak to this man. Alec bites his lip as Magnus begins to suck at the skin on his hip bones, reddened marks already beginning to paint him in the evidence of their desires.

All of the time they had shared pleasuring each other, in hotel rooms around the world, in recording studios at Alec’s apartments, in the offices of Magnus’ buildings and still Alec has not been able to build a resistance to Magnus’ touch. It’s like fire to ice when they meet, Alec so quickly allowing himself to melt, never wanting to extinguish Magnus’ searing flame as he warms him so completely.

The feel of Magnus’ mouth sliding down his length has Alec throwing his head back in abandon, his hands clutching at Magnus, recklessly destroying his perfectly styled hair.

‘Magnus, no... _Magnus_ , _stop_.’

Alec softens as he notices the concern in Magnus’ eyes, his heart clenching tightly trying to decipher the confusing feelings burning in his chest.

‘Yes Alexander?’

It’s any wonder that Alec is so intoxicated by the man, the way that Magnus can switch between devastatingly sexy and heartbreaking tender has his head spinning furiously. It’s something about the way that Magnus always puts Alec’s needs and desires first that makes Alec crave him beyond reason.

‘I want you too.’

Magnus furrows his brows, confusion overtaking his features before he drops his lips into that sly smirk that he knows drives Alec wild.

‘At the same time?’

Alec nods as he pulls Magnus towards him, attacking his lips in a steering kiss before shuffling down the bed as they maneuver themselves into position. Magnus seductively removes his briefs, erection throbbing and glistening as it smacks against his abs. The movement making Alec’ lips part, drool collecting at the corners of his mouth.

Flipping Magnus onto the bed, Alec hovers over his body, eyes admiring the protruding veins of his perfectly calved biceps, the long length of his neck, fixating upon his steadily bobbing Adam’s apple. 

Alec licks his lips hungrily, dropping down for a heated kiss before moving so that their erections can perfectly line up with each of their mouthes. They both bow their bodies slightly, craning their necks so that they are as close to each other as possible.

For a moment they both pause, admiring each other laid out, waiting to be consumed and brought to the greatest of ecstasies by each other. Alec traces his tongue along Magnus’ member, flicking the tip at the beads on precum that have begun to dribble down his shaft. 

The tremble that runs down Magnus’ body has Alec grinning in glee, his mouth watering with desire and gratitude for the deliciousness of Magnus that he has been so thankfully presented.

The sensation of having Magnus in his mouth and his own length being in Magnus’ has Alec moaning wilding around Magnus. He hollows his cheeks, sucking Magnus deeper into his mouth, feeling the tip of Magnus’ erection at the back of his throat.

His body is overtaken by surges of heat as Magnus’ mouth expertly swallows him whole, Magnus’ lips widening easily to draw his wide girth into his mouth.

They both rock their hips into each other, as they drive each other to the brink of their despair, to the final resting place of their command, to an oasis of nourishment to quench their mutual thirst.

Alec feels Magnus’ fingers digging into the soft flesh of his behind, holding himself steady as his tongue swirls along his shaft. Moisture drips down Magnus’s balls, saliva shining thick as the sheets become soaked in their assault on each other.

The sensation of a cold finger massaging his hole causes Alec to moan wildly, Magnus’ cock falling from his mouth as he yells a loud ‘Fuck!’.

Magnus only doubles his efforts from the outburst, using the saliva dripping from his mouth to smooth his forefinger across Alec’s hole, circling tenderly before slipping inside.

Arching his back as he shivers, Alec lifts his head and peeks behind him, desperate to see Magnus in all his seductive glory. The sight almost has Alec crumbling into a trembling mess. Magnus’ lips wide and stretched around his length, eyes glistening as he savours each and every taste of Alec’s member. His breathy moans and loud panting causing Magnus to buck his hips forward, Alec dropping his head back down allowing Magnus to thrust into his warm mouth. 

It doesn’t take long for either of them to be utterly ruined by each other, Alec feels Magnus’ balls draw towards his nose, his body stilling as he shakes before releasing himself down Alec’s throat. The deep moan Magnus releases around Alec causing him to jerk backward, thrusting Magnus’ finger deeper inside him, scraping forcefully along his prostrate.

Alec feels like he is free falling, being carried by a gentle cloud that is everything Magnus Bane. His tender touch, his delicious aroma, those beautiful noises escaping his enticing mouth. 

‘Come for me Alec.’ The coarseness of Magnus’ groggy voice has Alec surrendering to the intensity of his orgasm, burying himself even deeper down Magnus’ throat as he swallows every drop of his stickiness.

At some point within Alec’s oblivion, Magnus has them wrapped chest to chest, face tucked into Alec’s neck beneath the sheets. Their chests moving as one, searching for a steady beat to bring them back from their haven.

He feels his eyes begin to droop, Magnus’ breath evening out as they both slip into a comfortable slumber. It is not something they can usually afford, their dalliances being limited to hasty moments and the promise of a quick release.

Alec hums to himself as he wonders what a life of having the surety of these moments would be like. Of his nights full of Magnus in his arms rather than his thoughts, of good morning texts and falling asleep on the phone to each other. Of interlocking fingers as they shared a warm meal before settling on the couch pretending to watch a film whilst trading tender kisses. Of promised hellos and gentle good byes, knowing that these moments will be theirs, for together is where they both belong.

He hears his name between deep breaths, not quite sure if he’s dreaming, stuck in the bliss of a post coital haze. Fluttering his eyes open, Alec takes in the beauty of smudged kohl eyes, soft plump lips and messy spiked hair. 

‘Yes, Magnus?’

Magnus looks at him hesitantly before smiling softly, his fingers dancing on Alec’s chest before resting over his heart.

‘Do you ever think we can have this for real?’

Heart beating wildly, broken from the spell of daydreams, Alec stumbles over his words before responding shyly, ‘Um, yes? Maybe?Is…is that something that you want?’

Nodding his head slowly, Magnus licks his lips as he drags his lower lip down between his teeth.

‘If It means I get to have you and only you…. then _yes_.’

The words have Alec feeling dizzy, his skin prickling as the butterflies in his stomach take flight. He hesitantly placed his hand over Magnus’, interlocking their fingers as he forced himself to release the breath he was holding. The moment held heavy with the possibility of something real, a chance to have something for his own, something that the world would demand to become privy to.

It was just that wasn’t it, the biggest reason why Alec had never tried to pursue anything more with Magnus. This deep and grounded fear of losing before you really had, of having all that you desire taken from you before it even had a chance to take root.

He hated making promises that he couldn’t keep, hated being unsure of his next step. He didn’t want Magnus’ beautiful and free soul to be dragged down by a vicious outer world that he could not control. He couldn’t lose Magnus like that, he needed him here, any way he could have him.

Sensing his internal struggle, Magnus placed a chaste kiss on their conjoined hands before pulling away slightly. His eyes travelling to the large balcony doors, watching as the final rays of sun disappeared beyond the horizon.

Alec just laid there and marvelled, his heart at war with his conscience as his eyes worshiped the beauty of Magnus in this tender moment. 

‘Magnus?’

Dropping his eyes, Magnus’ lips curled into a small and private smile before he placed a tender kiss on Alec’s forehead and mumbled ‘It’s okay, I get it.’

The disappointment in Magnus’ voice was not lost on Alec, his brow furrowing as the man pulled away, eyes darting around Alec’s face as if attempting to memorise his every feature.

Alec’s chest heaved as he took in the sadness in Magnus’ eyes, his heart shattered into a million pieces as Magnus closed his eyes and slowly began to pull away.

The words slipped from Alec’s lips in a flurry, the foreignness of his own confident voice making his cheeks flush with a deep ruddiness.

Magnus stilled, eyes widening in shock as he sat on the edge of the bed with his back towards Alec. He turned at a glacial pace, lips parted as he offered a disbelieving ‘What?’

By this point Alec had long abandoned control of his body, his stomach clenching as the words escaped him in haste.

‘I said will you be my boyfriend?’

They sat for what felt like an eternity, staring into each other’s eyes, a lifetime of questions and wonders being shared in a silent conversation only lovers know. Alec’s heart rate elevating with each second that passed, waiting for the heartbreak that was sure to follow.

Alec watched as Magnus slowly swallowed, eyes closing momentarily before opening gently, the anticipation making his stomach clench in angst. Throwing his head back Alec groaned quietly to himself, avoiding all eye contact as he spoke, ‘If you’re going to say no just do it now. I don’t know how much longer I can handle this.’

The stillness in the air was like an ice bath in the midst of a winter’s night, like a claw gripping and tightening into the flesh of Alec’s heart.

Suddenly the bed dipped next to him, Alec felt himself being straddled as warm palms pressed against his cheeks. 

‘Alexander?’

He opened his eyes, Magnus’ face but a breath away from his own. The tenderness in Magnus’ voice as he spoke his birth name causing a wave of warmth to crash over Alec. He watched as Magnus licked his lips, a telltale sign of his confident demeanour, before he took Alec’ lips between his own.

Their tongues danced in a familiar rhythm as Magnus poured his happiness, his joy and his adoration into the warmth of Alec’s mouth.

Alec drank every whimper, sucking on Magnus’ tongue as he licked his way across every centimetre of his mouth. It felt like Magnus was affirming his territory, claiming Alec as his own, marking him as a place of worship, branding his soul with the embers of Magnus’ passion.

It felt like he was drowning, incapsulated in an unstoppable tsunami, surrendering to the forces of nature. It was like a beautiful destruction of everything he allowed to hold him back from taking his pleasure, from fulfilling his every desires, from admitting once and for all that he needs Magnus in his life, for more than just one night.

Eventually they are drawn apart, the need to breath forcing them to slow their advances. Magnus placed his forehead against Alec’s as he panted against his lips, an infectious grin spreading his swollen lips wide.

He slapped Alec playfully on the chest, pursing his lips together as he scolded Alec. ‘What took you so long? I thought you had gotten bored of me.’

‘Wh-what? Magnus, are you kidding me? That’s impossible.’

Alec’s wide eyes and deep blush causing Magnus to chuckle heartedly, their crotches rubbing as he threw his head back in mirth. The action caused the long expanse of Magnus’ neck to be artfully displayed for Alec. Bliss and euphoria from the joyful moment causing him to surge forward and attach his lips to Magnus’ pulse point, sucking a small moan from Magnus’ throat.

Magnus ground his hips down as Alec’s lips assaulted his neck. His eyes rolled into the back of his head, Alec’s hand taking both of their members and stroking them tenderly. They both shivered as they relinquished all bodily control to each other, the apprehension in the air quickly dissipating.

‘Please Alexander, make me yours.’

Stilling his ministrations Alec lifted his head, eyes boring into Magnus’ as his breath hitched. In all the moments they had shared in passion and desire, never had Magnus spoken with such a deep and intense need.

He inhaled steadily before he kissed him slowly, a tender and unhurriedly drag of lips that wanted nothing but to be consumed by the warmth of Magnus’ _everything._

For today _finally_ they had the promise of time.


End file.
